"Wisdom: the art of living skillfully in whatever actual condition we find ourselves." - Eugene Peterson
- A premature romantic relationship would only distract them (the girl and boy) from preparing for their future.
- Romance with wisdom = skillful romance
"Romantic love is the kite that catches the wind and tenaciously heads for the sky; wisdom is the string that tugs downward, holding it back." - Joshua Harris
- Long-lasting romance needs practical, common-sense wisdom that knows when to let the wind of feelings carry us higher and when to pull it back.
The Art of Skillful Romance:
1) Romance says, "I want it now!"; Wisdom urges patience.
"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." - Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)- Wisdom calls us to slow down.
- We can be patient because we know that God is sovereign and that He is faithful. (Psalm 38:15)
- Patience is an expression of trust that God, the Master Chef, can serve up an exquisite relationship.
- Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.
2) Romance says, "This is what I want and it's good for me."; Wisdom leads us to consider what's best for the other person.
"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." - James 3:17 (NIV)- Matthew 25:40, Luke 6:31, 1 John 3:16
- Sincere, Christlike love for the man or woman you're in a relationship with is the natural growth of love for God.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." - Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)- John 13:35
- We glorify God in our relationships when we put our needs aside and base our decisions on what serves the interests of the other person.
3) Romance says, "Enjoy the fantasy."; Wisdom calls us to base emotions and perceptions in reality.
"Desire without knowledge is not good— how much more will hasty feet miss the way!" - Proverbs 19:2 (NIV)- "Emotion is a physical expression of how we perceive the status of something we value."
- Wisdom calls us to base feelings on accurate information, not on distortions.
- We want the true character of someone to win our hearts.
"The right time and age to start pursuing marriage will be different for each of us. But the one thing we should all have in common is waiting until romance can be guided by wisdom. Then we can experience the season of courtship at the RIGHT TIME and the RIGHT PACE with a CLEAR PURPOSE and a CLEAR HEAD. This is romance at its best." - Joshua Harris
|I Kissed Dating Goodbye (book) - Joshua Harris|